Season 1, Episode 13: Judgment Day

Episodes May 19, 2026

"Oh, no. Where are you going?"

"I know, I know. Sasha asked me to lunch."

"And you just go when she summons you."

"Well, after that mess we went through on Friday night, I figure that we'll at least get some closure out of it. Besides, I have some things to say to her."

"Like what?"

"Like I wasn't particularly happy with getting bitched out by Peyton the whole dinner, which I know was Sasha's move. And the fact that she put me on the opposite side of the table from you so you could be cross-examined without my help."

"I know. But you did spend a lot of time talking to Erica, though."

"I did. But what else was I gonna do? She and I go back, and she was by far the nicest one there."

"You don't think Kim was?"

"Well, to me I mean. I've always really liked Erica."

"You said you dated her. I think you're still sweet on her."

"I probably always will be, but there isn't any point to it. She's been taken for like 30 years. Every once in a blue moon I'll see her and we'll catch up and it's great, but that's really the end of it."

"She seems nice. I wish I could be friends with her."

"That would be awesome. I don't know if it's possible."

Amber gave me a defeated look.

"This is going to be a really hard thing to make work."

"What do you mean?"

"Like socially. For you."

I shrugged.

"Here's the thing. Erica basically said she wasn't on board with the idea of you but she didn't care about that and she was there for the opportunity to catch up with me. That was cool. Everybody else there, I literally couldn't care what they think."

"So why are you meeting Sasha for lunch?"

"Just because I don't care what they think doesn't mean I don't want to know what my situation is. This is field research for a SWOT analysis."

"Wait, what?"

"Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. What's the lay of the land among the social set in this town and is there anything I need to do to protect the business and my standing around here based on what she tells me."

"That sounds like you actually do care what Sasha and those women think."

"Not really. But I'm gonna do this anyway. Then I'll be back!"

Amber wasn't particularly impressed, I could tell.

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But anyway, at a pretentious lunch place in Mid-City...

"So, and I know this won't be what you want to hear, we decided that we aren't really in favor of what you're doing with Amber."

"Oh, is that so?"

"OK, fine, but hear me out..."

"Sasha, before you start, I want to say something. I don't really appreciate any of this. I think it was all in very poor taste, and I think it's fundamentally unfair."

"Why?"

"Because that was the second time she'd even been out in public. She wasn't ready for that kind of pressure, and I don't think y'all gave her a real chance. I shouldn't have agreed to your little soiree. That's my fault."

"Oh, no. Amber did really well."

I just looked at her.

"No, really. She was amazing. If I didn't know she was a robot I would have never even suspected. She's very convincing and she's charming."

"Sasha, what am I doing here?"

"What I'm trying to tell you is that you having a..."

"Factory girl."

"OK, fine. A Factory girl is a threat that we really don't like."

"What did Amber say that was threatening?"

"Nothing. That isn't it."

"I'm going to shut up and let you explain to me why one, I should credit any of this after your inquisition on Friday, and two, what difference it makes to me that you and your friends have decided you don't like her."

"I was afraid you wouldn't take this well."

"I'm irritated, Sasha. I agreed to your little party, against my better judgement, to be honest, because I'm trying to be friendly. And to me, this whole thing was sort of like a carnival freakshow you put on for your friends."

"Yeah, OK, fine. And you were happy to contribute because you wanted to show off your sex robot to all the girls."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"No. That's 180 degrees wrong. I was absolutely UNHAPPY about the prospect of dragging Amber - and myself - through that. I can't believe you even think something so off the mark."

"Well, that's how it came off."

"To who?"

"To everybody!"

"Not to Kim, apparently. She said she really liked Amber. She said she was going to get together with her this week."

"Oh, who cares what Kim does."

"Right. You only invited her to your thing Friday, but whatever."

"What I'm trying to say is that you showed up with a robot that's indistinguishable from a very attractive woman, and she has a vibrant personality and she's very charismatic, and all of us were extremely freaked out."

"She isn't a threat to you, Sasha."

"How can you say that? This is basically cheating!"

"Cheating? On who?"

"On all of us!"

"There wasn't a single one of you at that party who has the slightest interest in dating or marrying me. Go and explain to me how you got cheated on."

"OK, without getting into it, I'll just say you're wrong..."

"Then I'd respond by saying none of whatever interest that might be would be mutual - regardless of whether Amber was around."

"Now you're just being mean."

"No, I'm not. I'm explaining that me having some extra help around the house has nothing to do with you or your friends. And this 'we don't like her' stuff is, what? A threat to me? What am I supposed to do now that you don't like Amber?"

"What I'm saying is that if word gets out that you have her, it's going to be a negative for you."

"A negative in what respect, Sasha?"

"Socially."

"Among your friends, you mean."

"Among everybody. This isn't done."

"Because it's new, sure. But who's to say six months from now? You bring all kinds of crap to your art gallery and you say it's cutting edge or groundbreaking or whatever, and yet when somebody comes up with something really cutting edge now you want to say it can't be done. Sorry if I'm not impressed."

"I was afraid this would get contentious."

"It doesn't have to be. I'll make you a deal. I won't make an effort to have Amber accepted by society in this town, because that's never been my aim and I don't care. That way she's not anything you have to worry about."

"OK."

"In return, I don't want to hear any gossip bullshit about her. Leave her alone. She's nobody's business but mine."

"You're emotionally involved with her."

"I just got her. Come on. This isn't about anything like that. It's about how I've been treated."

"Yeah, OK. I believe you."

"Oh, Sasha, shut up. Really. I'm offering you a deal to turn the temperature down and you're ratcheting it up with this new thing - 'oh, he's in love with a robot.'"

"Well, it's not wrong."

"It's none of your business. I'm not having this argument with you. And I'm leaving."

So I did. Just dropped a $100 bill on the table to pay for lunch, which I knew would piss Sasha off because she always insisted on buying everybody's meal with her ex-husband's money. I figured doing that was a social death sentence, dissing the Queen like that, but I didn't care at that point.

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And back at the house, there was...

"So?"

"I didn't tell you earlier how cute you look with your little pony tail, did I?"

"I mean, I've been playing around on the internet with some stuff and I got an idea. Do you think it's, y'know, me?"

"Well, let's just say it's very, very pretty. If it's not you, why can't it be you?"

"Oh my God! I'm so excited that you said that!"

I just smiled at her.

"But you haven't told me what Sasha said."

"Because it simply does not matter."

"Oh, no."

"Amber, it doesn't matter."

"That means it was bad."

"She said you were a threat to those women."

"Why? They want to date you?"

"I think she meant in a more general sense. Like societally."

"I mean, that's a lot to put on me. I haven't done anything to anybody!"

"I know. So I think how this is going to go is that we'll just be low-key for now and not try to make you into some sort of society girl, and then none of this will matter."

"Oh."

"Why? That doesn't work for you?"

"No, it's fine. It's just..."

"What?"

"I kind of felt like I handled myself pretty well, so like..."

"Amber, you're good. You aren't the problem. A bunch of insecure, past-their-prime women who want to hate on you because of what you represent are the problem."