Season 1, Episode 17: The Spy And The Bookworm

Episodes May 19, 2026

So there I was, sitting in a booth at Alphonso's, waiting on Keegan to meet me for lunch.

And the fun part was that Anna and Peyton were in the next booth. I saw them walk in; they didn't see me. And the impulse struck me not to say or do anything. I just buried my head in my phone as they sat down, and I escaped detection.

And I heard just about everything the two of them said before Keegan showed up.

"He's so aggravating," Peyton said. "I mean, he acted like he didn't care at all. I said I had a headache and he was like, 'OK, no problem.'"

"Because of the robot," said Anna.

"He didn't even deny it! He just blamed it on Carla and Meagyn. He said it was like being dragged across concrete having to deal with them and he'd probably rather cuddle than have sex."

"Why didn't you take him up on that?"

"On what?"

"Cuddling with him. In five minutes he would have been trying to do it with you and you'd have had your leverage again."

"Oh," I could hear Peyton saying. "I didn't think of that."

"It doesn't matter. Why do you care?"

"Because it's Oscar. Keeping him on a string for when nothing else is out there has always been the plan. You know that. But now it's changed."

"You think it's the robot."

"Of course it's the robot! And all of this...it's not working. It's like he doesn't care."

"Maybe he doesn't."

"That isn't funny, Anna."

"Look, I'm objective here. I have no interest in men. I like gay men and they like me. That's how I do it. But you... you actually want a man. But you don't do the things men like. Eventually you wear them out, you know."

"You think I've worn Oscar out?"

If Anna said anything in response I couldn't hear it. Just then, Keegan showed up and sat down.

"Hey, boss. What's up?"

"Boss," I said. "Please. I'm not your boss. At best I'm your agent. Whatcha got going on?"

"Just rocking and rolling. Pretty soon I'm gonna show you my construction app. It's freakin' awesome. Practically eliminates the need for hiring a general contractor if you're building or remodeling a house."

"Where'd you get the idea for that?"

"Novel I read, believe it or not."

"Huh. Cool."

"So, are we gonna get Virgil, or not?"

"I think so. We'll know for sure next week, but if they're not hiring us they certainly are intent on wasting our time."

"Yeah, we'll get that one, I bet. I'm still so disgusted about Dixie Chicken, though. How does RDS take that away from us?"

"They're national. We're not. Dixie Chicken wants to go national. I think it's just that simple."

"It's bullshit, is what it is."

Keegan smiled at someone, and I could tell it was Anna and Peyton as they were leaving.

"Those two are white as ghosts," he said. "Wonder what that's about."

"Because they were talking about me and didn't know I was sitting here," I said. "Good intel."

"Oh, really?"

"Peyton's a bitch. She really is."

"You don't say."

"Shaddap, Keegan."

"Hey, I'm not gonna judge anybody else's social life. Laura's the meanest woman this side of the river."

"I won't argue that. It's worse?"

"I'm not gonna drag you into it. So what are we doing next?"

"Southern Quality Ford Dealers," I said. "Ran into the regional manager, and he tells me that their sales system..."

---------------------------------

Back at the house...

"Hey, boo!"

"Boo? I'm boo now? What am I, haunting a house?"

"Well, it's a Southern thing, right? I've decided I'm gonna be a Southern girl."

"Yeah, I'm hearing the accent."

"I know, right? I've been practicing it all morning!"

"I see. So what got you started on being a southern girl?"

"Holly Hunter in 'O Brother, Where Art Thou' and Reese Witherspoon in 'Sweet Home Alabama.' I watched 'em both this morning while you were out and I decided I want to be cute like them."

"Those are two pretty good references," I said. "If you want to be Reese Witherspoon, you certainly can do that with my blessing."

That made her smile.

"So you're just plowing away at the books and the movies, huh?" I asked her.

"I'm catching up. You have a lifetime of a head start on me, you know."

"Oh, no doubt. Speaking of catching up..."

"It's all done. All the spreadsheets, all your billing. I even sent Townsend an email and he agreed to pay his bill with a credit card."

"Townsend paid his bill?"

"Well, half of it."

"I'm amazed. Will miracles never cease?"

"I'm really a pretty good assistant, you know," she said.

"Honestly, Amber, you really are. I'm super impressed!"

She liked that.

"So," I said, "do you want to go out later?"

"What, like for dinner?"

"Yeah. What do you think?"

She shook her head.

"No?"

"No. I'm gonna make dinner."

"Wow. You're really leaning into the cooking thing, aren't you?"

"I think I have to. Gotta earn my keep around here."

"You do? Oh, because you did more online shopping, didn't you?"

"Ummm..."

"How much was it this time?"

"Well, OK. So I saw this really incredible wig. It's blonde, but it's kind of shaggy-wavy and I think you'll absolutely love it on me. And I needed a pair of heels - I mean, just to practice with, if nothing else. So there's that. And... what's wrong with you?"

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I don't do debt. Even when COVID hit I didn't borrow money. But damn, Amber, less than two months with you here and I'm headed straight for the poorhouse!"

"You're mad at me."

"Amber, I know you mean well. But we don't have enough money coming in for you to blow through... what did you spend today?"

"I think it was a hundred and ten."

"Baby, no! We can't spend that kind of money every day."

"OK - first of all, we're not."

"No? What did you spend yesterday?"

"OK, a hundred and thirty. But I'd checked that out with you in advance! And the day before yesterday I didn't spend anything!"

"What did you spend the day before that?"

"OK, that's totally not fair. Some of it was on you!"

"Buying me a shirt I did not need."

"I think you needed it."

"You're so sweet it's painful. Which is why I feel terrible about this, but I'm cutting you off. We just can't afford all this. And besides, your closet is getting full."

"Oh, please. It's not even close to full."

"Close enough, Amber. For now, you're going to have to enjoy the stuff you've got. Besides, the engine on my truck is making a funny noise and I'm gonna have to bring it to the shop, and that's definitely going to wipe out your spending money."