Season 2, Episode 12: Transference

Episodes May 22, 2026

I was relaxing at my desk with a tall glass of Jefferson Reserve, which was a bit of a celebratory thing.

Because I'd just finished my initial report for the Senoritas account, and it included a multi-item proposal for system and process upgrades. They really had to accept most of those and I had people to plug in to get them done correctly. And when they did, I'd have a nice little end-of-the-year bump I could stick into my sickly investment portfolio I'd had to drain during the two years of the COVID disaster.

I wasn't all the way back, but I could see that day. And I could also see that 2023 was going to be the best year my business had seen.

That kind of relief deserved a drink, even if I was doing it by myself. Hey - I'm a bit of a loner anyway. Give me a friendly dog and some peace and quiet and I'm good for the most part.

Between that and the Peyton thing, it sort of explained the rut my social/sex life had fallen into until lately.

Peyton.

She'd been texting me a bunch of friendly messages, including an invitation to come over for dinner - which was a booty call. I'd politely declined. I'd decided I was done with continuing the frenemies-with-benefits thing with her; it was a waste of time and energy, and if I was going to have a sexual relationship without it pointing toward starting a family I'd rather it be with Amber. At least she was nice to me and made an effort not to bring drama to my life.

I said made an effort. I didn't say she was successful. Peyton made the opposite effort and boy, was she successful.

The interesting thing was that the word had apparently gotten around that the Oscar-Peyton Experience had come to an end. And I'd started getting, essentially, congratulatory "Finally!" messages from my guy friends. I didn't realize how much they disliked her until they apparently felt like it was safe to express it without... hurting my feelings, or something.

Honestly, it was a relief not to have to put up with her anymore. You never knew what you were getting with Peyton. Sometimes she was fun. But it always ended in irritation and I didn't like myself when I was around her.

I was thinking about all that when my phone rang. It was Erica.

"Hey," I said. "What are you up to?"

"Feeling a little blue, actually," she said.

"Oh, no. Anything I can do to help?"

"You probably won't want to, and it's fine if you don't. But I really didn't like how we left it a couple of days ago and I'm really sorry about that, so I wanted to at least call and say so."

"Awwww, listen to you. Sweetest girl I ever met."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Nah, not really. You are very sweet, you know."

"Well, I wasn't at that meeting."

"Erica, it's business. I totally get it if you're uncomfortable with bringing in a bunch of strangers to bust open Jim's books and take an inventory of his company. I'll argue that it needs to be done, but I'm not even gonna try to tell you that you should be happy about it."

"Well," she said, "I've been thinking about that. And what I realize is that not only don't I know anything about this stuff but I have entirely the wrong mindset about it. I'm thinking about Stafford Oil as a family and that isn't really what it is."

"There is nothing wrong with thinking of your employees and coworkers as a family. But what I generally say is that it's more productive to think of them as your team. Because unlike a family, which exists for its own purposes, a team exists to do a specific thing. Sometimes people get cut from a team when the folks in charge determine they don't help the team reach its goals. You really don't cut people from a family, or at least not unless it's a dire-circumstances thing."

"That's smart."

"Thanks. So what is this thing I won't want to do?"

She sighed.

"OK, so the Magnolia Foundation Winter Gala is tomorrow night and I wasn't going to go, but they want to give Jim a posthumous award..."

"And they spring this on you at the last minute?"

"It's... he left MF a nice chunk in his will, so they decided they wanted to honor him this year instead of next."

"And you want me as a plus-one."

"You don't have to go. I've got the whole family coming, it's not that big a deal."

"Oh, boy."

"I know, I know. It's an ordeal and I'm doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Trying to plug you into Jim's spot. You mentioned that the other night at dinner, and I didn't take it well. But you're right. I do it to you all the time and it's wrong of me."

"Look, that was me whining. Don't beat yourself up about it."

"No, really. It's unfair. And here I am doing it again. You know what? Forget I asked. It's stupid, you don't have to come..."

"I'll tell you what," I said. "I'll make you a deal on this."

"Oh, God. This is another one of your Oscar negotiations, isn't it?"

"Nah. I'm letting you off easy. How about this? I'll pick you up and we'll go eat dinner..."

"Oscar, the gala is a sit-down dinner thing."

"Then we'll have drinks and appetizers."

"Oh, OK. In other words you just want to have some alone time."

"Hey, you're not as rusty as you think!"

She laughed.

"Fair enough. Pick me up early, we'll go to..."

"Giselle's."

"Oooooh," she said. "Good call."

"It's close to the hotel."

"Right, OK. But we'll need to be at this thing by 7:30."

I told her it was a date, and then I took another pull from my glass.

Amber showed up out of nowhere just afterward.

"Hey," I said. "I didn't hear you come home."

"I know, right? Katie isn't with me so there's no arguing! It's so peaceful!"

"Yeah, exactly. Where is she?"

"Well, after she was nice enough to give me my body back after stealing it for a day and a half, she told me at work today that she was probably going to move in at Stella and Paula's."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah. And she's bragging that now she has a bed to sleep in, finally."

"They have an extra room in that little house?"

"No! It's Paula's bed she's talking about!"

"Well, that's just none of my business."

"I knew you were gonna say something like that."

"I mean, be honest. You aren't relieved?"

"I would be, but this whole thing is super-creepy. Between Katie absolutely hounding me about not doing my uploads to the factory server and telling me that it's unethical that I let Keegan recode me..."

"It's like she's a Z Company spy-girl."

"Yes! Oh my God, that's exactly it. But then there is this whole Paula thing. Like we went from a normal thing where Paula was sort of even-handed in how she treated us to now it's the two of them ganging up on me and I'm always in trouble, and they're really..."

"What?"

"Inappropriate."

"Inappropriate how?"

"Inappropriate like I walked in on them at Cole's house and Paula had her tongue down Katie's throat in front of him, like she was demonstrating what Katie could do. It was gross."

"I'll bet Cole didn't think so."

"Oscar! Not funny!"

"You're right. Again, though, if it's Katie that Paula's molesting, I kinda feel like it's more attention than she's otherwise going to get. And we're a month away from you not even being in that scene anymore."

"Maybe you're right. But I'm grossed out anyway. Hey, are you gonna be furious with me if I just go put on all my unsexy bedclothes and get warm, and make you cuddle with me? I'm dead on my feet."

"If that's what you want to do, sure. I'll register the usual objection, but..."

"Paula took my charge plate away, is the thing. So I'm just run down."

"This can't go on, Amber. Especially when we have that item in the cabinet under the bathroom sink."

I was talking about her replacement head. She gave me a horrified look and I let it drop.

And later, when I told her about the Magnolia Foundation gala the next night, she said she was happy about it and she was really rooting for me and Erica.

I wasn't sure what to do with that.

-------------------------------

But the next evening, I picked Erica up at her house, and...

"This is OK, right?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"Oh, so you're playing hard to get with the compliments. I get it."

"Erica, you look magnificent. Honestly. You're like the eighth wonder of the world."

"Oooo, that's what I was looking for!"

"Yes, yes. Can we go? I know you're going to be hustling me to this event soon, so I want to maximize my time at Giselle's."

"Fair enough. Besides, I want to show you off, too. You look pretty good in that tuxedo."

"I'm sucking my stomach in so the pants fit."

She laughed, and we were off...

...and we had a great time for the hour and a half we sat at Giselle's.

And then it was off to the gala, where...

...Erica was getting mobbed by Jim's friends and the society set. I was badly out of place, and but for the long conversation I had with Michael about getting started with the Bob-and-Bob interviews whether his mother liked it or not, the evening would have been torture.

Midway through, and just before they were going to call the Staffords up to the podium to give Erica Jim's Golden Cornucopia award, or whatever the hell they were calling it, she turned to me.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. No problem."

"I know this has to be like pulling teeth for you."

I laughed.

"Erica, sweetie, I'm fine. I've simply been plotting with your oldest son to do all the terrible things to that business you don't want us to do."

Now it was her turn to laugh.

After the award and the Stafford brood - Erica, Michael and his wife Stephanie, who'd happily announced she was now pregnant, Ann Marie and her husband Beau, along with the new baby, Nathan and his wife Rose, and Trey, the youngest - all returned to the table as the room gave them a standing ovation, which I was enthusiastically joining, Michael and I had another quick conversation.

"After Christmas, can you go with me to Midland? I want to sit down with the folks in the field and I think the first of the changes is something I want to get your input on. I have a guy I think I want to move into the head of field operations, but you should interview him and give me a second opinion."

"OK," I said. "Who's the guy?"

"His name's Chad Beckstrom. He's a field supervisor who's been with the company for 10 years or so and I think he's underutilized. Dad had him working half in the Permian and half in what's left of our Tuscaloosa Marine Shale field here close by, but I don't think that's the best use of him."

"Oh, wait. I think I know that guy. Or at least I know who he is."

"He's got a little bit of a reputation around town. But I think that's past him. He's dating this absolute knockout of a redhead."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I've met her."

"Anyway, he's a real hardass but he solves problems. I think he might be the guy we want to turn the Permian Basin operation over to, but I need an independent set of eyes on it."

"Sure," I said.

A little while later, I dropped Erica off at the house. She kissed me on the porch.

"I'd invite you in, but I don't trust myself around you right now. And besides, Beau and Ann Marie are staying the night."

"Are you saying you don't think you can resist my manly charms?" I said with as playful a smile as I could muster.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. You were an absolute angel tonight."

"Awww," I said.

"No, I mean it. And look, on the business stuff - I'm getting out of the way altogether. You know what you're doing, and I don't."

"OK. And Erica..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Sleep tight."

I had to stop myself. If I hadn't, I would have poured it out right then and there that I was head over heels in love with her just like I had been for 30 years.

I almost did that. I was close. If it hadn't been for the very loud voice in my head screaming and cursing at the top of its lungs at me to shut the fuck up, I'd have done it.

And who knew what would have happened if I had.

--------------------------

"Oh my God! Oscar!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"There's a man in the house."

"Huh?"

"Honey, somebody is in the house! I saw him!"

"Ohh, shit," I said. I turned on the light next to the bed, fished my .45 out of the gun-safe in the nightstand, and started checking the rooms.

A few minutes later...

"Sorry? False alarm?"

"So it would seem," I said. "What was that?"

"I, ummm..."

"Come on, Amber. What the hell? Are you hallucinating? Having nightmares?"

"I don't know. I think maybe it's the stress of, y'know, Katie, and, ummm..."

"Or it comes from the same source as your shivering, and this business about your battery which is actually fine, and the forgetfulness..."

Now she was crying uncontrollably. I sat down next to her on the bed and gave her a hug.

"It's worse," she said. "I think I'm going crazy and it's accelerating."

"Have you run diagnostics and all of that?"

"It's like... anomalies. And they aren't explainable with, like, software."

"Meaning whatever damage you've got in that little skull of yours is getting worse. You have multiple screws loose, my dear."

"I'm begging you not to make fun of me right now."

"OK, I won't. But we are now at the point where you are going to tell me it's OK to call Keegan and we're going to transfer you into that new head you're so afraid of."

"Yeah, right. You want me to say it's fine if I die and get reborn."

"Well, that's a bit dramatic, don't you think?"

"Ummm, no! If anything I'm being too calm."

"Baby, I don't think you're being too calm," I said, in a deadpan reassuring voice.

"And there he is making fun of me again."

"I am telling you this will be all right. Look, today is Saturday, Keegan told me he was available all weekend if you want to do this, so I'll call him and we'll just get it over with. By tonight you'll be you, but you'll be brand new and with none of this stress shit you're carrying around and we'll be in the happily ever after."

She gave me a surly look and then she laid back down, muttering quietly to herself.

So I turned the light back out and tried to get the rest of a decent night's sleep.

-----------------------------

"Oh my God, Cara, you're... gorgeous."

"Oh, stop it. Amber, honey, you look like a Greek goddess. Oscar ought to call you Aphrodite. That would suit you better."

"Hey, there's an idea!" I said. Amber just gave me a sheepish look.

"OK," said Keegan. "Before we get started, I'm gonna need that head. Because we aren't gonna do any of this until I go and map out the neural core and see what Z Company has going on in there."

"Whatever you say, dude," I said, and cut open the box as Amber and Cara watched.

And then I took out the new head.

"Wait," Amber said, "I'm gonna have blue eyes?"

"Beautiful blue eyes," I said.

"That's... kinda cool," she said.

"You're gonna be so pretty, honey," said Cara. "I'm so happy for you."

Amber just turned and hugged her.

Keegan hooked up the new head to his laptop, and Amber and Cara went into the living room to catch up. It almost felt like Cara was the nurse sent to make the patient feel comfortable before the operation.

I sat there watching Keegan as he kept cursing to himself.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"It's fine," he said. "There's so much shit in here, though. I'm gonna blow out the entire thing and replace it with Amber's code, so, y'know, whatever. But these are some evil sonsofbitches. We need to get our business going, and quick."

"You mean like surveillance and shit?"

"Dude, this thing? This is 10 times worse than TikTok and Temu. This is the most advanced piece of spyware in human history. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is an act of war. If the people running our government weren't traitors they would ban Factory Girls altogether."

"Yeesh," I said.

"I mean, it's all taken care of and Amber's gonna be fine, and honestly we need to be thinking of this as an awesome opportunity. Like it's a McAfee for your Factory Girl we'll be selling. But we need to get it off the ground quick."

"Hmmm."

"By the way, where's the other one?"

"Katie? She's moving out, or she already moved out. Something. She's having an affair with her boss."

"I'm not even gonna ask. What I would say is you need to let me recode her. Now. Who knows what she's getting in those downloads from Z Company."

"We'll see," I said.

A little while later, he said he was done and Cara brought Amber back into the dining room. She was holding her hand.

"OK, sweetie," said Cara. "Now how we're going to do this is your old head's going on my body and your new head will go on yours, and then Keegan's gonna switch you. So let's lay on the table..."

I watched as Cara helped Amber get positioned, and then put herself down next to her. Then she held Amber's hand and smiled.

Then Keegan did the honors, and...

...Amber's transference was all set to go.

"Oscar," she said.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," I said, "but these are not your last words."

She gave a weak smile and then Keegan clicked the button on his mouse and away we went.

"OK," he said. "We're at 10 percent. How do you feel, Amber?"

"Kind of... weird? Like I'm in two places at once."

"I would think that's anything but weird given the circumstances," I said.

She gave me a you're-making-fun-of-me-again look.

"Now 20 percent," said Keegan. "It's probably going to stop and start a little with all the files it has to download and extract."

He wasn't lying, because a few minutes went by and it didn't seem like anything was happening.

But then...

"Dude," said Amber, both of her heads talking at the same time. "This is really weird and it kind of hurts."

"Double trouble!" I said.

"Right at 50 percent," said Keegan.

"Amber, you're still you, right? You haven't died yet?"

"No, silly," she said. "I didn't die."

"I don't think I'm the silly one."

She stuck her tongue - or, more accurately, tongues - out at me.

"70 percent," said Keegan.

I noticed Amber suddenly had a contented look on both of her faces.

And a few minutes later...

"Hey, can I get up?"

"Wait," said Keegan, and he reached over to unplug the USB cord from the back of her head. "Now you are free to go, my dear."

I pulled her old head off Cara's body and put Cara's back on.

"Well? How'd she do?"

"I think pretty well," I said.

"Better than pretty well! Oh my God, this is... it's like a weight got lifted off me."

"You've got a few upgrades that I've put in," said Keegan. "That and your new hardware is really state of the art."

"I want to do, like... everything."

"Those eyes of yours," I said, "a guy could drown in."

"Oh, you're gonna get a reward for saying that."

"All right," said Keegan. "One more thing - you need to give me Amber's old body. That electrical engineer I told you about? Levi? He says he can fix the issue with the legs not bending right at the hip."

"Done," I said, and Keegan and I dragged the box out to his truck. Then he and Cara left, just in time for Paula and Katie to blow in.

"Damn. Out one door and in the other," I said.

"I know," said Amber. "Grand Central Station around here."

"Something is different about you," said Katie. "You got the new head!"

"Bet your ass I did," said Amber.

"Well, good," said Paula. "So going forward I'm hoping you'll be able to dedicate a little more to the art of your work..."

"OK, let me stop you right there," said Amber. "I'm still on the job for another month, and I'm gonna do the job, but all this other stuff? The Cole brainwashing and the grabbing my ass and the training? I'm saying no. I'm there to clean houses, not play games. If that means trouble, fine."

"But that's..." Paula stammered, taken aback.

"She's saying no, Paula," I said. "And that's the final answer."

That led to a very uncomfortable pause. Katie broke it.