Season 3, Episode 17: The Flood

"Oh my goodness. Oscar! I heard about Amber! It's so terrible!"

"Thanks, Sasha," I said, dumping the bag of onions into my cart and attempting to figure out what kind of work she'd had done to her face without appearing to notice. "I'm in a bit of a daze about it, actually."

"Well, what do the police say?"

"The police? Not much. Stolen property. Basically the same as somebody stealing a car. Except you can't call the insurance company and Amber doesn't have a lo-jack."

"She doesn't?"

"I never connected her internal wi-fi system. She's capable of getting on the internet the way we do, so I figured we'd just do that. And now, I recognize my mistake."

"Ohhh, I'm so sorry. What do you think happened?"

"Well, we know she was taken. There's security footage from the back door of the White House Black Market store. Guy is carrying her out the door and throws her in a white truck and speeds off. The cops have a partial plate, but they tell me not to get my hopes up."

"So terrible," said Sasha, in that very refined and not overly sincere manner of hers. "Darling, if you need ANYTHING, you just tell me and I'll come running."

"OK, Sasha, I will," I said.

It had been like this for a couple of days now. My phone ringing off the hook, these women coming by unannounced. Sasha's friend Kim, the one I never really liked and Amber decided she didn't like, either, had come over the day before bearing a casserole.