Season 1, Episode 7: Unplanned Revelations

Episodes May 18, 2026

I have a friend - she's maybe more like an acquaintance with benefits than a friend, but we'll go with friend for the sake of brevity - named Peyton.

Peyton is a pharma rep. She does pretty well for herself. And she's very easy on the eyes. You'd think Peyton would be a really great catch. And yet she's perpetually single.

Peyton is perpetually single because you can't trust that girl as far as you can throw her.

A few years ago I dated her for about two months, and then I found out she was screwing another guy on the side. I confronted her about it, and her response was perfectly reasonable, at least in Peyton logic. She said she'd never committed to being exclusive with me and she was fine if I was carrying on with other women.

I said that wasn't what I was looking for. She said OK, she understood, and that she'd be around if I ever wanted to get together.

"I really like you, Oscar," was her line, "but if you ask me for more than I can give you, you'll just be disappointed."

I wanted to be mad at her, but I realized there was no point.

Peyton bounced from guy to guy after that. Here and there we'll get together. She's fun to hang around with and I like her, but she's somebody you really want to keep at arm's length.

Peyton isn't trustworthy.

I'm giving you this background because the day after Amber came home from Keegan's place, I was in the kitchen with her showing her how we do dishes and Peyton barged in through the back door.

"Oh, wow. It's true! I can't believe it but you really did..."

"Peyton, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked her.

"I had to see for myself, but I still don't actually believe it."

"Oscar," said Amber, "do you want to introduce me to your friend? She's sooo pretty!"

"Sure," I said. "Amber, meet Peyton!"

And Amber stuck out her hand for a handshake, which was a little awkward considering she was wearing a wet rubber glove.

"No, no," said Peyton. "We're not gonna do that."

Then she turned to me.

And she crooked her finger at me and tilted her head to demand I join her in the living room.

"I'll be back," I told Amber.

"It's cool," she said with a big, eager smile. "I think I can finish this!"

"Good girl."

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"I think I know what happened," I said. "Laura told everyone she could think of that I've got a Factory Girl in my house, and so you're just the first of many who are gonna show up here to give me shit about it. Am I right?"

"I didn't hear about it from Laura. I heard about it from Sasha."

"Shit. That's even worse."

"How could you do this? Only perverts get sex dolls! It's so gross, Oscar. Permanent ick factor."

"Oh, please. First of all, the sex doll in question is literally doing dishes right now. So we're not really talking about the same thing here."

"Fine. Sex ROBOT. It's still gross."

"Why? I spent like five grand and she's basically a free personal assistant. She's friendly, she's learning how to keep up the house, she's going to learn how to cook, I imagine she'll walk the dog for me, she can already do all my billing for the business... you wouldn't pay five grand for that?"

"Don't pretend that's why you got her, Oscar."

"But it IS why I got her. I didn't pay two grand for a sex doll, Peyton. I paid five grand for a Girl Friday who looks like a supermodel and who's fun to talk to. I actually think I crushed it."

"What you crushed is your reputation! I'm telling you as a friend, you should get rid of her. Now."

"Or what?"

"Every woman in town is going to blacklist you. You're never going to get a date again."

"So this is a personal threat, then, and you aren't really my friend."

"That's not what I said!"

"Sure came off that way, dear. So if I needed a date to some event and I called you, you'd tell me no because of Amber?"

"I would..."

"Because if your answer is that you'd say no to me, then that's pretty shallow and plastic."

"Maybe you could just take your sex robot."

"Maybe I could. She's pretty close to passing for a real girl, and she's learning all the time. Could be that you see Amber at all the finest places before long."

"So I guess you're fine with being done with the real girls then. You'll just get your rocks off with a sex doll from now on."

"Let's not get too judgey here, OK? Remember, I've seen what's in the drawer of your nightstand. And that thing DEFINITELY can't do dishes."

"Arrrrgh," she said, and she brushed past me, stormed past Amber in the kitchen, and left.

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"I did something wrong," Amber said, crestfallen.

"Nah. You're fine. I'm the one who did something wrong."

"What did you do?"

"I got you."

"Oh my God," she said, and I was amazed to see what looked like tears forming in her eyes.

"Holy crap," I said. "You can cry?"

"Yes."

"That's really cool! OK, stop. I didn't mean that getting you is wrong. I meant that getting you is going to be a problem with the women I know."

"But why?"

"I kinda knew about this but I figured it's something I'd be able to manage. It turns out that real girls are pretty horrified about sex dolls..."

"I'm a Factory Girl, though," Amber said.

"...and I don't think they can even process the idea of a Factory Girl. You do realize that nobody around here has ever seen anyone like you before, right?"