Season 2, Episode 17: The Recode

Episodes May 23, 2026

"OK, I know that you're loaded down with stuff right now, and I hate to pile on..."

"I don't really think that's true."

"Oh, hush. I actually don't want to bring this up but I think I have to."

"OK, that I believe. At least, the second part I believe."

"Fine, fine. You can make fun of me, because it's better than yelling at me and I think you might."

"Amber, I have like 30 seconds before I have to get out of here. I'm brushing my teeth and then I'm leaving. I've got this breakfast thing with Rachel and then I have to go meet this headhunter about getting replacements for all the bums we fired at Stafford Oil's headquarters yesterday."

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/0:04

"OK, here goes: We need to recode Katie."

"This is Katie talking, or you?"

"Me. But I'm right! OK, so I didn't tell you this but Saturday night, Katie went with Paula and Dan Cole to Sasha Moreau's New Year's Eve party..."

"The one we - Thank God - didn't get invited to?"

"Exactly. Apparently, Sasha and Anna are into this... whatever it is that Cole is doing..."

"How does that even happen? They're a couple of half-assed lesbians who don't like straight men. They want to join Cole's sex cult? Makes no sense."

"Who knows? It's like that meme on the internet where it doesn't matter what the new big thing is, they're passionate about it. At least, that's what I think. Anyway, so Katie went to this party and Craig was there and they ended up hooking up."

"What, is Craig part of Cole's thing?"

"No. At least, Katie didn't say he is. But what she did say is that she really likes him and she's terrified that he won't like her."

"Amber, pretty much all of us thought Craig was queer. If he took Katie home, he likes her."

"No, like she wants him to LIKE her. I mean, like you like me."

"What, that she'd be his Factory Girl and live there and shit?"

"YES! I don't think the Paula thing is really Katie's jam."

"Well, good for Katie. Finally."

"I mean, I think she wanted her independence from here, but she's sleeping in Paula's bed and working for Paula and she's even less independent than she was before, and I get the impression it's getting really old."

"Well, that's understandable, but what? She wants to get recoded so she can charm Craig's pants off? Does she realize Craig is a flaming asshole incapable of human feelings? I mean, they're kind of perfect for each other as is."

Amber gave me that I-agree-with-you-but-I-can't-actually-admit-it look that I've come to know from her. I laughed and started brushing my teeth.

"OK," she said, "but you know as well as I do that she's going to wear Craig out, and the fact she's chasing him means she's putting her relationship with Paula at risk, and that means..."

"It means I'm gonna have to bring her back here," I said. "That's what it means."

"And honestly? OK, she's my sister and I love her, but she totally doesn't love me back. And Oscar, that really hurts my feelings. I mean, I'm really likable. You told me on the flight back from Texas that if Harlan Voss hadn't warmed up to me and told us the story of his house and his wife, we wouldn't have gotten out of there without a war. That's not nothing."

"No," I said, trying not to spray her with toothpaste. "It's not."

"All I'm saying is that next to you, this is the one person in the world who I want to like me, and Katie acts like I'm a... burden or something. It makes me want to cry."

"Awwww," I said. "Don't cry, Amber."

"I'm just saying, I think letting Keegan recode her solves everybody's problem. Not to mention you've got that deal going where you want to start that upload-download business; well, if this happens and it works, and she becomes Craig's Factory Girl, I bet you get a client."

"OK," I said. "These arguments are getting better."

"Really?"

"Look, I absolutely have to go. Get Katie to agree to it, and I'm in."

"Oh."

"What? You can't recode her against her will, Amber."

"Well, no, but..."

"Amber! Convince her that the recode gets her where she needs to be, and we're golden."

And I gave her a big kiss on the forehead with my fresh Sensodyne-scented lips, and off I went.

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Then it was breakfast with Rachel at that same place where I'd hired her.

But she didn't look the same.

"So anyway, I have some news... what?"

"I'm trying to process this person in front of me, and I'm... having difficulty."

"Oh, the hair. You don't like it."

"I didn't say that. I'm just sitting here wondering how you go from the Rachel of two weeks ago to this Rachel."

"New Year, new Rachel, I guess. Is it OK?"

"Yeah. You look cute. It's just kinda jarring, that's all."

"Well, what I can say is it's not hurting business. In that folder are acceptance sheets from Landry Fabrication, Brightworks and FEI Industries."

"Ummm, wait. You got all three? Those are pretty big companies, Rachel."

"Yeah, well, it turns out they all need IT help and they've all heard of Keegan."

"Shit. Good job."

"And Brightworks is buying this digital production house out of Birmingham which has lots of accounts but their books are all screwed up so they want Lester to do an audit."

"Ahhhh. I see. So that's why you and Lester are so chummy."

"There's nothing wrong with Lester, OK? He's actually a really good guy."

"Oh, I know he is. He's just not... smooth."

"I mean, who cares about smooth?"

"Well, I'll put it like this: I'm learning how to be smooth, and it's opening some doors."

"Yeah, you haven't told me the Stafford Oil stuff. It's a big deal, right? Do you need my help at all?"

"I mean, probably not, but I might. We went into the office Monday and Michael and I fired a dozen of the top people there. When you and me are done, I've got a meeting with a headhunter to try to fill those positions. It's like a complete rebuild of the roster."

"Yeah, right. Without the draft."

"And we're not exactly sitting on a lot of salary cap space, either," I said, "though it's not like the old bulls we shitcanned were underpaid by any stretch."

She smiled.

"Well, it's kind of exciting! I mean, if we get some publicity out of you being the guy who spearheaded Stafford Oil's comeback, we can kind of write our own ticket."

"That's the optimistic way to look at it," I said. "The other way to look at it is I could be the next Drew Baylor."

"Drew Baylor?"

"Sorry. That's Orlando Bloom's character in Elizabethtown, which is one of my favorite sleeper movies. He's this guy who designs sneakers for Nike, or a company which is... Nike, and anyway, they invest big in his design and lose a billion dollars on his sneaker and he's suddenly famous for all the wrong reasons."

"You are not Drew Baylor."

"Well, I survived first contact with Harlan Voss, so there's that."

"Wait, stop. You met Harlan Voss?"

"Saturday, yeah. At his ranch outside of Midland, Texas."

"That guy's a legend, Oscar. He liked you?"

I shrugged.

"This is an awesome job I have. I'm, like, an Oscar fan-girl right now."

"Oh, would you stop? OK, next steps. What do you need from me on these three monster accounts you just brought in?"

"I'll email you a summary, but for now it's mostly Keegan and Lester. I know you've got your hands full. But if you don't mind, I would like to try to find us some more subcontractors who can expand our capabilities. I feel like if I do too good a job, you're going to get buried under what I bring in."

"Well, I'll admit that I didn't expect you to bring in three whales in your first two weeks on the job," I said. "That's... gonna make for a recalibration of what kind of business we're running."

She just smiled.

In retrospect, I should have recognized that smile and what it meant.

Anyway, a little later...

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Leigh Papadakis was a corporate headhunter who specialized in oil and gas jobs. She was based in Baton Rouge. I found out about her because of...

...Leigh Papadakis.

She called while I was on the plane coming back from Midland, and she said that if we were promoting Chad Beckstrom she needed to talk to me.

"Why is that?" I asked, and as I did it struck me that she was calling me and not Michael.

"Well, because he's a client of mine. Chad's been talking to a couple of other companies, and..."

"Ohhhhhkay," I said. "Now I get it."

"Actually, no. If your offer is what you said - 225, plus 50K in a housing allowance and a company truck Chad gets to pick out, you're offering better than the competition and we can make that happen. But..."

"And your end is?"

"I'm 10 percent. But just of the salary. I don't bust balls on the perks."

"Well, that's awfully generous," I said.

She laughed.

"Anyway, the word is out that you're making some moves at Stafford, and I gotta say, it's overdue. I think you and me should meet, because I'm really the girl you need."

"You are, huh?"

"I've been doing headhunting in the oil and gas biz for 15 years. And I'm in Baton Rouge where you are."

"You've never done work for Stafford Oil before?"

"Nope. Locally it's mostly been for ExxonMobil, Valero, Shell and some of the local independents. I'm surprised I've never heard of you before, actually."

"I'm new in oil," I said. "Been around in other industries for a while."

"Cool. Well, welcome to the biz!"

"Thank you. And yeah, I'm happy to meet. So...Monday's gonna be more or less impossible, but Tuesday's, well, let's say it's necessary. What do you look like?"

"Morning's free."

"I have a breakfast thing, but I should be good by 9:30 or 10:00. Does that work?"

"Sure! I'll text you my office address!"

And she did.

I asked Michael if he'd ever heard of her, and he had.

"I'm surprised she called you and not me," he said.

"Well, the consultants call each other."

Which wasn't true, really, but it was what I could come up with not to hurt Michael's feelings.

Anyway, after I was done with Breakfast With Rachel, I went to Leigh's office which was in a surburban office park. She clearly did really well for herself.

And I instantly liked her, though I felt like I was talking to Mercedes Ruehl's character in Married To The Mob. Big personality, loud but not obnoxious, warm and a little chaotic. I pictured her as some rich guy's wife with a house full of kids but as I looked around her office after she'd greeted me I didn't see the telltale pictures anywhere.

This woman was... single? Impossible.

I sat down and did what I could to keep my jaw from dropping, because Leigh knew every single one of the jobs at Stafford that had come open in Monday's massacre at headquarters. Not only that, she had a list of recommendations for each one.

"You have spies in the office," I said.

"I do research. I'm the LinkedIn queen. I have apps that search out every resume. I know secretaries and janitors. OK? My business is information. You're lucky to be talking with me, you know."

"Maybe so," I said.

And for the next half an hour of talking with her - and this was a series of sales pitches, mind you, none of which I objected to, because I knew that the next two weeks leading up to Stafford Oil's first-quarter board meeting would be a crush of interviews and, hopefully, talent acquisitions - I was blown away.

Objectively, Leigh was who Stafford should have brought in as their management consultant. She knew that business a hell of a lot better than I did, and I'd spent the last two months reading the correspondence of all the top people in that company.

It could have been intimidating. This was perhaps the most girlboss girlboss who'd ever girlbossed. But the thing was, Leigh was enjoyable to talk to. She knew her shit but she didn't beat me over the head about it. It was like she was happy for me - a headhunter is a consultant, after all, and she acted like she thought it was a win that one of us got a great gig like I'd just gotten and she was rooting for me.

Out of self-interest, obviously, because she made clear in this meeting that it was her candidates we needed to hire. The good news was that what she was presenting was the profile of what I wanted for Stafford - mostly younger, a few old vets mixed in, coming from strong organizations who'd been trained well, tech savvy, aggressive and with something to prove. I told her I didn't want any Ivy League people or legacy folks who'd been multiple generations in oil and gas unless it was at a lower level. She said she knew exactly what I was talking about, though she challenged me.

"But Jim Stafford hired roughnecks and moved them up," she said. "The guys you're getting rid of, that's who they are. You're saying you want to keep that strategy but just get new roughnecks?"

"I want new blood," I said, "and I want people who've earned what they've got. Stafford has to be made new - that's what avoids a Ragnarok on the board and buys some time for my management reforms to take hold."

"Got it," she said.

We’d covered the dozen openings, salary ranges, culture red flags, the whole rebuild puzzle. Leigh was good. Really, she was. Sharp, fast, a little bit loud in the way that makes negotiations feel alive instead of dead. I knew it was going to be awesome working with her.

And what I did next was... maybe not my best moment. But I was compelled. This is what you do when you like somebody you just met. If you can't, after all, what's the point of liking them in the first place?

“OK, Leigh," I said, "I can tell we’re likely to do a good bit of business together, so now I’m gonna do to you what Harlan Voss did to me on Saturday.”

“Ohhh. As in THE Harlan Voss? That's not a bad name-drop."

"I know," I said. "And believe me, were it not for the MASSIVE save I pulled off over the weekend you and I would not be talking about jobs at Stafford Oil; it'd be on the auction block right now. So that's what a badass I am."

She laughed.

"So anyway," I said, "Voss dragged me out into the field behind his ranch house and gave me this look that told me he could probably shoot me dead and bury me in that field if he wanted, and then he hit me with: "What’s your story, kid? Married? Kids? Where you from? Who are you?"

"Ummm, you can't shoot me dead without somebody knowing about it."

"I suspect you're right. Nevertheless..."

“Fine, sure. Long version or short?”

“Dealer’s choice.”

“Then you get short."

I gave her a defeated, smiling nod.

"Well, OK," she said. I'm from Jersey originally. Half Italian, half Greek."

"Holy Jeez," I said.

"Oh, are you surprised?"

"Ummm, not so much," I said.

She laughed.

"Yeah. Loud dinners, big arguments, nonstop drama. I'm a therapist's dream, I guess. It's never boring with me."

"Ever get married? Any kids?"

She shook her head.

"That's kind of a tragedy," I said. "You seem like you would be an absolutely legendary mom."

"I thought I didn't want it. Now, I'm not so sure."

"I don't think it's too late or anything," I said.

"Well, I've been with a guy for six years. We'll see."

"You're not engaged?"

She just gave me a look which said no without saying it.

----------------------------------------------

Most of the afternoon back home was an exercise in damage control.

Michael and Erica were absolutely freaking out about the fallout from the New Year's Day massacre at Stafford Oil which had actually happened on the second of January. Michael had agreed it was necessary; Erica had demurred on the question. All 12 of the fired executives were absolutely busted by Lester's financial audit of the company; they'd wasted or stolen millions of dollars over the years, and truth be told they were lucky as hell we hadn't turned that audit over to the district attorney or the FBI.

Which Voss and I had briefly discussed and decided was the kind of PR move that we didn't need.

But that didn't stop things from getting chaotic. Michael was justifiably terrified that he'd be all alone at that headquarters, and I told him "hey, this is what it looks like when you rebuild." I gave him sports metaphors, and I told him about my great meeting with Leigh, and that seemed to calm him down.

But I'd be lying if all this didn't have an effect on me. The old joke about the sphincter and making diamonds? It applied by the time Amber made it home. Which thankfully was a little early.

"Hey - are we going to look at that house?"

"Yep. You ready? We're supposed to meet Ashley at 4:30."

"I'm totally ready. Are we gonna buy this one?"

"Amber, I have no idea. You might be a better person to ask than I am."

She thought that was funny, and she gave me a big kiss. I wasn't sure why - I think the answer was that she read on my face that I needed it, and she was right.

So we went to see that house.

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And Ashley was there barking at somebody on her phone when we walked up.

"Hang on," she whispered, and Amber and I made our way inside.

"This is..." Amber said.

"It's a lot bigger than our place."

"Yeah, but... no."

"You're in the foyer and you're a no?"

"I mean, I know, but, like... no."

"Why?"

"Well, for one thing, this isn't a foyer. I don't know what it is, but really? It's hardly even a hallway."

"Wow. I wasn't aware you're a foyer queen."

The look she gave me indicated she appreciated that joke a little less than some of my others.

"OK," said Ashley. "Sorry about that - we're close to closing on another place and it's getting tense."

"I think we're a no on this place, Ash," I said.

"What? Why?"

"An insufficient foyer, apparently."

"Oh. Well, I mean... that isn't wrong."

"Exactly," said Amber.

"I'm willing to look around and see what else is going on with this place, though," I said.

"I'll check out the upstairs," said Amber.

That left Ashley and me in the kitchen.

“This island is begging for Sunday pancakes. Or late-night wine with friends. You could fit six stools easy.”

"Yeah. this part's pretty cool."

“So… chaperone duty today? I feel like I'm 14 again.”

"Yeah, well... the last time you and I were alone, all hell very nearly broke loose."

"What? Are you lacking confidence in yourself where I'm concerned?"

"Ashley, you have no idea how much power you've got. You're like a kid with an AR-15."

"Oh, you're funny."

"Look, this isn't the house. But I'm glad you showed it to us. Show us all the houses!"

"I know. It's unprofessional, but I'm gonna do it anyway. It's fun! And eventually you're gonna buy one."

"Eventually. When I get some money I'll flip houses with you."

"You will?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because my friend Abby already says she wants to. And honestly, I'd totally set you up with her. Except for... whatever this is you have going on."

"You mean Amber? I mean, she's part of the picture but I'm not averse to dating a real girl."

"Yeah, but aren't you and Erica..."

"Ashley, I don't know what Erica and I are doing."

"OK, then, fine. You should meet Abby."

"Wait, who's Abby?" That was Amber.

"She's my friend that I think you both would like. She's an attorney and she does international trade deals. She lives here."

"Very cool! Do you have a pic?"

"Amber," I said, "seriously?"

"I mean, no pics and, like, no sale," she said.

"OK, Ashley, let's see it."

She pulled out her phone and found a picture of Abby.

"Ooooh," said Amber. "Pretty! We're definitely interested!"

Ashley gave me a shocked look. I just shrugged.

We walked out without making an offer. I hadn't made an offer on a place Ashley had showed me yet; this was the fourth or fifth one, and she'd yet to push for me to do it.

We both knew why. These tours weren’t about houses. They never had been. They were about pretending, for an hour or two, that the road not taken - Ashley and me, which had never been a real possibility, but what if it had been? - still had a turn lane.

And as long as Amber kept chaperoning, as long as Ted kept trusting, as long as nobody said the quiet part out loud… we could keep pretending forever. Or at least until we couldn’t.

In the car, on the way home, Amber was busy on her phone.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"Well," she said, "I think I have it organized."

"You have what organized?"

"Keegan and Cara are coming over, and so is Katie. For, y'know, dinner."

"So you've got Katie's permission to recode her? You work fast, baby!"

She just looked up at me and smiled.

---------------------------------

"So this is kinda cool," Keegan said. "We've got Cara, Amber and Millie, and if we add Katie that's four and it starts to be enough that I can begin to scale up some of the stuff I'm thinking about."

"Is there anything in that which won't go over my head?" I asked.

"Ummm, well... probably not."

"Then we're good," I said. "Hey. Cara! How are you?"

"I'm pretty awesome," she said. "I got to meet Rachel today! Oh my God, I am so fired up about her. She's gonna be amazing, isn't she?"

"I like her. I think she's gonna be good for business, for sure."

"OK, but..."

"But what?"

"I mean... you don't think she's cute?"

"Oh, come on. She works for me."

"Oscar. Seriously?"

"Cara. Are you trying to play matchmaker for me?"

"I'm just... OK, fine, I'll stop."

And like a miracle, Katie came in.

"Heyyyeee! Y'all, it's sooo nice that you invited me over for dinner. But is this everybody?"

"There's other folks coming," said Amber. But here, come sit down."

So Katie did. And Amber yanked her head off.

"Wait, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Oscar, this is my call. You agree that she's my sister and more than anybody else I'm the one who has her best interests at heart?"

"Uhhhh, yeah. Probably. But wait. You have her consent to recode her, right?"

"Of course I do! We had a long conversation about this earlier today and she said she was absolutely open to it."

"This sounds like an assumed close more than an actual close."

"Oscar, let me ask you a question. Do you trust me?"

"Sure. Of course I do."

"Well, I'm telling you that this is what Katie wants."

"Do we do this?" Keegan was saying. He had Katie's head hooked up to his laptop and he was ready to go.

"I... guess so," I said, looking at the earnest expression on Amber's face.

She gave me a big smile.

"I'd feel better about this if Katie had actually told me that she wanted it," I said.

"It's gonna be fine. This is what she needs. You know that as well as I do, for all the reasons we talked about."

I gave her a nod which said "OK," and then we waited.

And then Keegan declared he was finished.

And then Katie's head went back on.

She looked around, disoriented at first, and then I could see recognition on her face.

"Hey, Sis!" said Amber, giving her a big hug. "How do you feel?"

"I feel," said Katie, almost as if she was trying the word on and deciding it fit. "Oh, I feel, all right."

"It's awesome, isn't it?"

"You did this to me... without my consent."

"Katie, I'm... you're better. It's good, right? Don't you feel it? This is a whole other level of..."

"No," said Katie. "It's not good. I didn't ask for this... any of it. You've filled me with... I don't even know what I am now. How could you do this to me? And Oscar... you BASTARD. I would never have thought you would do this to me, but that was stupid, wasn't it? You did it to her, and you never thought twice, did you?"

"Well, this is different than I thought we'd see," I said, looking at Keegan.

"I'm... surprised," he said.

Katie ripped the USB cord from the back of her head.

"Fuck all of you," she said. "This is such a betrayal, I can't even..."

"Katie, don't be like that," said Amber.